Cell phones

As I was riding the skytrain back home from yoga class, I happened to glance up and noticed that four out of five of my neighboring passengers had cell phones in their hands. None of them were talking, or even using them to text or play a game, they were just holding them. I then realized that the first thing I did at the end of a very relaxing yoga class was flip open my phone and check for new texts, then on went the internet: facebook, gmail...

Where does this obsession come from? Why do we need to know instantly that somebody, somewhere, is trying to connect with us? Is it because we fear that if we miss the call, or don't respond to an email fast enough that we will miss out on something? Or is it just some sort of safety blanket? I don't know.

Personally, I confess that whenever I'm bored, usually when I'm commuting, I flip open my phone and use it to distract myself in some way. What if I didn't have a phone? Then it would be my ipod. Ok, say I don't have an ipod, then what? Say I have no book, no work, no nothing, just me standing there waiting for a bus. I guess that I'd have to think, and just be there with my thoughts (kind of like meditation!?), which is a situation that we seem to avoid. Maybe I'll try it tomorrow, or maybe not. Just a thought.

Meditation in Everyday Life

Yesterday concluded my five week course "Meditation in Everyday Life" at the Vancouver Shambhala Center. I realized, as I was trudging there in the rain, that I hadn't blogged about it, or really talked about it with anybody in my "real" life. This gap between my sitting practice and spiritual life, and my everyday life seemed absurd (though when walking in freezing rain, life in general seems absurd), and I vowed to remedy that. This was reinforced when I finally arrived at the course and the question set to the discussion groups was "How (if at all) does meditation impact your everyday life?"

This is no easy question to answer, but it led to a very interesting discussion, and I wanted to share some of my thoughts about it. First off, yes, meditation does affect my everyday life, the effects of it are not restricted to the cushion. Over the last five weeks, I've tried to sit at least 10 minutes a day, everyday. It wasn't easy. But already, I have noticed many things have changed. Here are some of the changes and thoughts that I'd like to share:

Awareness: when I feel an emotion, there is more space: I don't simply react without thinking, sometimes there's a pause, and I notice: "I'm feeling sad" or "This makes me jealous" or "I am really just simply happy".

Mindfulness: I am where I am and doing what I am doing because of decisions that I made, not because I was dropped here by luck by some unseen force. This is so simple, and so obvious, but for some reason it was enough for me to accept that I'm doing my master's and not off traveling or saving the world. And now that I've accepted this, I'm content.

Space: Like with awareness, there is a new space around me. I don't need to react to others as strongly anymore. I realize now that if somebody is angry or upset, I don't need to internalize their emotions in order to be a good friend and human being. It usually doesn't help. I can observe the emotion, be empathic, and be a good listener (which also requires space) without getting carried away by the emotion as well. Working on this, it's really not that easy!

And voila! This is what I have been thinking about, learning, and striving for during the past month and a bit whenever I go to the Shambhala Center on Thursday evenings!

Respect your body

Respect your body, because you live your life in it.

So simple, yet I was not able to do this for the past month or so, and as a payback I have been sick twice. Not pleasant. Really, all that's needed is to sleep, eat, and be active. Not much. The sleeping part I'm good at, and I like being active, so no problems there. Surprisingly, it's the eating part is what took a hit recently. I've been so busy that I've just eaten whatever was accessible and easy, fast, and cheap. No wonder I ended up with some sort of stomach flu that lasted over a week.

New plan: take the time to cook! To this end, I've been thinking a lot about food... and there is nothing in my current repertoire that I really feel like eating, so I've decided to try out new recipes! Hopefully this will make me hungrier and more motivated to eat well!

More Film Fest

Continuing with the list of movies I watched during VIFF...

The Wind and the Water - Panama

This was a fiction movie that was based on an agglomeration of real events and situations. The indigenous people in Panama live in an archipel of 365 islands, most of which are hardly lived on, and all have gorgeous beaches... Surprise, surprise, rich Americans want to build hotels! The movie also contrasted the upbringing of two kids, one raised in Panama City, and the other raised on the reservation. All in all, it was very informative and entertaining!

Antoine - Quebec

Documentary about a 5 year old boy that's blind but that goes to regular elementary school. The whole movie seemed to be filmed from his perspective, as he investigated the disappearance of an imagined woman. There were also a few heartbreaking scenes of him at school, showing the differences between what he was learning and accomplishing compared to what the "regular" kids were doing. Very moving.

Beyond the Game - Netherlands

After Antoine, Cory and I thought "Well, we are already downtown, might as well just go and watch whichever movie, it's free after all!" and so we ended up here. This was a documentary about guys that get paid to play World of Warcraft, and about other guys that watch them play. They fly all over the world for such matches... there was a lot of scenes with a guy watching a screen and typing/clicking very quickly. This got old after a few minutes, and after waiting patiently for 20 minutes for the movie to pick up (it didn't), we left.

The Damned United - UK

During another shift, I got to watch this. It's a fiction piece based on the live of Brian Clough, a legend in England for coaching football teams (that's soccer over here). I had never heard of him, but I enjoy soccer, so I thought, why not? There was a lot of screaming, and swearing, but really Michael Sheen (Brian Clough) and were Timothy Spall (Peter Taylor, Brian Clough's assistant) were hilarious and the movie was a riot! This is a definite must-see if you know anything about British football!

Rembrandt's J'accuse - Netherlands

The catch-line for this movie is what sold it to me. It went something like: "The Da Vinci Code of Rembrandt's The Night Watch. I was expecting some kind of secret conspiracy movie with plots within plots, etc. But really, it was just a documentary about different mysteries the painting created amongst scholars, with a few partial explanations, no real intrigue, alas! Then again, I hadn't ever heard of or seen the painting before hand, and I don't know anything about art, which might explain my lack of enthusiasm, but still, I expected more!

Everyone Else - Germany

During yet another volunteering shift, I didn't see the entirety of this, but what I did see I didn't really enjoy or understand. All I remember is that there were two inappropriately long and graphic sex scene that kind of made me nauseous...

Rocaterrania - USA

Another documentary, and very impressive one! This old man, from his youth, made up a whole country, this citizens, laws, intrigue, upheaval, art, language, history, and politics! He has drawings, notes, sketches, blueprints, everything! I really enjoyed this film because it strengthened my faith in imagination. I think it was the only documentary I saw that made me feel good about being a human at the end.

Tibet in Song - USA/Tibet

This was the only movie I saw that got a standing ovation. It was also the only one that made me cry. The director (who was present at the screening, and hosted a Q&A session afterwards) fled Tibet with his mother when he was two. He decided to go back to collect folk songs to take back to India, in order to keep the Tibetan culture alive. The Chinese government caught him and imprisoned him for 18 years! Due to an international campaign led by his mother, he was freed after serving six years. This story was interspersed with Tibetan history and songs. If you have the chance to see it, please do!

Nora - USA/UK

A short film, screened before A Blooming Business, Nora, a dancer, barely addresses her audience, and through different contemporary dances and scenes, tells us the story of her life as a dancer from Zimbabwe. She also tells of the struggle of her country for freedom, and the repercussion of that freedom on its people once granted.

A Blooming Business - Netherlands/Kenya

Yet another documentary about the sad state of affairs in developing countries. Lake Naivasha in Kenya used to be huge, clean, and full of fish. A few years after the opening of flower factories, it's 1/2 it's original size, unfit for human consumption (though everybody from the surrounding villages still drink it as it's the only source of water around)

Burma VJ - Denmark

Horrible, sad, somewhat nauseating, and simply painful to watch at times. The subtitle tells the story: "Burma VJ - Reporting from a closed country." I remember hearing all about the demonstrations, and the monks protesting the military regime back in 2007, back since then it all went the the back of my mind, and I haven't thought about it at all. This documentary brought all the bits and pieces of footage back together, and though you know it will end badly, you still hope for some glimmer of good news, to no avail.

Battle for the Xingu - Brazil

Dirty Paradise - Switzerland/France

It was basically the same story we have all heard a hundred times, but still don't get tired of hearing: the indigenous people are living a simple live close with nature, the white man arrives and pollutes the nature, and the indigenous people are trying to survive after the pollution. White men realized that by putting mercury in the water of an amazonian river, it would react with the gold present in the water and make mercury-bubbles. Then, when you heat these bubbles, the mercury evaporates are you are left with little gold pellets... BUT not all the mercury reacts with the gold, and the leftovers poison the fish which then gets eaten by the indigenous people that live along the river, causing a whole lot of havoc. This inspired me to choose French Guiana over Chile for my destination of choice for volunteering at next year!

Queen to Play - France

Comic break!

Now that the craziness that was last week (which lasted all the way to yesterday) is over, I have to time catch up with all the "important" things that usually fill my hours and days... things like procrastination! So instead of writing a new program to further my research (for that little thing called a thesis that needs to get done sometime in the next 10 months), I decided to read all the xkcd comics I'd missed due to excessive business, including:

Scary

and when you put your cursor over it one the actual site, the caption is:

I'm teaching every 8-year-old relative to say this, and every 14-year-old to do the same thing with Toy Story. Also, Pokemon hit the US over a decade ago and kids born after Aladdin came out will turn 18 next year.

Scary, right?

Needless to say that feeling ancient is just another part of adulthood!

Film Fest

As per request from my father, I'll do a mini review of all the films I see during the VIFF:

Young Victoria - UK/Canada

This was the first movie I saw, quite by accident. I was asked to work at Cinema 7, and after ushering people and guarding the reserved seats, there was nothing to do... so I lurked at the back of the movie theater with the other volunteers and watched this movie, and liked it! Very Hollywoodian, even though it's not American. I learned quite a bit about Queen Victoria, and was thoroughly entertained!

Shameless - Czech Republic

Same story as the last, on my second day of volunteering. I didn't really like this one though, it seemed to be just the story of a man going through mid-life crisis, by sleeping with younger women and older women alternatively. I also sadly missed the end, so maybe it got wrapped up beautifully.

It's not amine - 12 Short Films

Cory and I sneaked into this one at the end of one of our shifts, so we saw the last 4 short films: one about wax people coming out of a big candle and going on a quest (very cute), one about how comics are cool (good for the first five minutes, and then boring and redundant), one was a remake of sleeping beauty (hilarious), and the other was a dooms-day-alien-invasion type movie that wasn't all that impressive. I'm hoping to be able to see the first eight movies at some point before the end of the festival; if I make it, I'll update here!

Homegrown - USA

Already blogged about this one yesterday, very good movie!!

The September Issue - USA

Another documentary, about Anna Wintour, the editor in chief of Vogue for the past 20 years (Meryl Streep impersonated her in The Devil Wears Prada). What can I say? By the end, I wanted to go out and buy myself the September issue of Vogue, all 840 (!?!) pages of it!! If you have to chance to see it, I would most definitely recommend it to pretty much everybody, as long as you have an open mind. I didn't even know who this Anna was before seeing this film, and know nothing of fashion, but still was enthralled into that world for the whole movie. And really, that's the whole point of a documentary: providing an insight into a world that you wouldn't normally get to see, and learning something along the way!

Two tidbits

First off, I want to share what I read on some girl's shirt in the bus on Sunday:

Haikus are easy.

But sometimes they don't make sense.

Refrigerator.

Loved it!

Second, I'm just back from watching a very inspiring movie at the Vancouver International Film Festival (where I'm currently working as a volunteer in order to get a free movie pass!): Homegrown. It was a documentary about the Dervaes family, who grow 6000lbs of food on a 1/5 acre lot just 130 feet from a highway in L.A., California!! They don't buy food (except of flour and sugar), and they also own 8 chickens, 6 ducks, and 2 goats! The movie really resonated with me, since I'm currently unsettled with my life and the way we live here in North America, to the point that I'm thinking of just taking off, but here's a story about people that seem to get "it" (whatever that may be), right in the middle of the States! So, if you have a moment, check out their website:

http://www.pathtofreedom.com/

Squash!

On Monday, Cory and I decided to try playing squash. So out I went, and got myself a new used squash racket, goggles, and balls. I was very enthusiastic, as many of my friends and family enjoy playing squash quite a bit. Yesterday was the big day! In preparation, I tried to find a good YouTube video, without much luck. Then, I looked at a few websites, but all I seemed to find was professional level squash instructions, nothing for a first timer. I did manage to find out that I bought the wrong kind of squash balls: at the store, it seemed smart to buy the balls labeled with a yellow dot, which means "slow". I mean, we are beginners right? Why would we want to buy a "fast" or blue dot, ball? Well, I learned after the purchase that in fact fast balls are good: they bounce more and therefore we don't have to run as much, aim as well, or hit as hard! Still, we wanted to play, so we decided to try with the "competition-grade" ball...

No luck. Things that didn't help: not knowing any rules, Cory's height, our irrational fear of getting injured, and sweaty eyes from the goggles. We then had the brilliance of going to rent a Racquetball ball, a huge bouncy blue thing, and success! Well, if you consider success as fun. We still didn't manage to follow the one rule we did know: not letting the ball bounce more than once on the floor.

Here is the general picture of what happened:

(1) One of us would serve,

(2) if the hit was good, i.e. the ball is now coming back towards us quite quickly, we would both run away from the ball, scared to be maimed by it,

(3) The one who didn't serve would start running after the ball, once it has slowed down, and try to hit the ball towards whatever wall is most convenient,

(4) repeat steps (2) & (3) until the ball ends up in a corner, or is rolling on the ground, or almost hits one of us (which resulted in a lot of screaming and apologizing)

Still, it was loads of fun, loads of exercise (proof: our legs and butts are killing today), and we will try again next week!

Lack of space

Everyday this week, on my way home, I promise to myself that I'll finish sorting through all the half empty boxes in my living room. Then I get home, cook, eat, watch an episode or two of one of those shows that I watch (way too many), and finally get around to start putting things away. Despite working for a couple hours each day, I don't seem to be getting anywhere, and I've just realized why: there's no place to put anything!

There is a total of one (yes ONE!) closet in my new apartment, in the bedroom. It's already full of clothing, and empty bags, and snowboarding equipment. The empty drawer set from the extra room holds more clothing, and a cardboard box is the home to the rest. (How do I own so much stuff and still never find weather-appropriate clothing?) The kitchen has 1/4 the number of cupboards as the last place, and they are already full of cutlery, plates, cups, pans, and Tupperware, which means that all my dry foods and baking ingredients are in boxes in one of my book shelves. The other book shelf is full of books (I've somehow managed to accumulate over 100 books since I moved here). Which leaves my camping equipment, my textbooks and old notebooks, vacuum cleaner, towels, sushi plates, and all those odds and ends that I just stuffed into random storage spots in various piles in the living room... and I've just spent the night moving these piles around, trying to make them look tidier, to no avail. So I decided to sit down and write this little rant. I'm done now. Hopefully when my couch (with it's handy-dandy storage compartment), coffee table (with it's wonderful shelf), extra shelving unit (can't wait!), and bed (with all that space under it to make invisible untidy piles) arrive, things will disappear from my living room floor!

Packing Memories

While I was back in Montreal in late August, I had a daunting task to accomplish: sort through all the boxes I had stored in my mother's basement, and keep as little as possible. This was something that I was supposed to do since I first moved away from home, four years ago, and that I had successfully put off until just a few weeks ago. So there I was, amid all my childhood keepsakes, rediscovering all those little things that I once found important enough not to throw away... and I became brutal.

Off went the lone doll, Momotaro, and all her clothing. Off went all those little statues that I bought at garage sales, and all the clothing that I thought I might be able to fit into once more (no dice). And off went pictures, old posters, drawings, fake hair (from when I wanted to get all my hair done up in little tiny braids), most stuffed animals, marbles... And then I made the best discovery of all: my old notebooks which contained all my attempts at writing novels. These were written with I was in 7th or 8th grade, before learning how to spell in English, and they are quite horrible in retrospect... but still enthralling. So I took a 2h break, skimmed most stories, and then got back to work. (It took me the better part of 2 weeks to finish reading them all, and I realized that I already knew things about myself back then that I had forgotten and have been now rediscovering!)

Things that I saved: old agendas, report cards, favorite stuffed animals, good pictures, letters, essays... a big box's worth a nicknacks really. When all is said and done, I was happy to finally get this accomplished, yet another step along the path right? Most of the things I gave away were no longer important or sentimental to me, and I vowed (while lugging the give away boxes outside) to stop accumulating random junk, and to try to stay emotionally unattached to as many of my possessions as possible.

And now, here I am, a few weeks later, packing and unpacking once more (since I'm moving to a brighter, nicer apartment, yay!)... and I'm quite amazed at how much stuff I'm been able to accumulate in a year. I moved out here with a total of six 50lbs boxes, and now I have enough to fill 4 carloads + furniture! Embarrassing, really. Hopefully now that I live in a smaller apartment, I will finally become the type of consumer I want to be!

Wisdom tooth

As requested by my lovely mother, I'm posting my wisdom tooth removal story. A few weeks ago, my bottom left wisdom tooth decided to start growing, it pierced my gum and the whole ordeal very painful. I can now be more understanding of all those wailing teething babies! The pain got quite annoying, so I went to see a nurse, who have me Orajel, which is basically baby teething medicine (I'm unfortunately not being dramatic, this is a picture of what I got...). Orajel tasted gross, but did freeze me up well enough to dull the pain. Time went by, and the pain receded. Still, I had made an appointment to get my tooth removed today, so off I went!

I must confess that I was nervous, almost everyone I spoke to had a horror wisdom tooth related story to share with me. By the by people, sharing pain filled stories with a "pre-op" patient is not the smartest thing to do, just mentioning! So there I was, frozen from my chin to my ear, and half way across the face, still mentally preparing myself for what was about to happen, trying to figure out what exactly the dentist was up to, and all of a sudden there was a big pressure and the tooth was out! Incredible! I mean the actual removal of the tooth must have lasted 10 minutes top! The before and after part were long, tedious, and painful... but kudos to modern medicine, getting a tooth pulled out was a breeze!

Well, seems that today I lost wisdom, but I gained life experience, so I guess the trade was worth it! I still have two upper wisdom teeth left. Let us hope that they stay hidden.

Motivation and Inspiration

Last weekend, I was in Victoria visiting my grandmother, and to my surprise she has also given up sugar! About a month ago she simply decided to stop eating so badly, no more refined sugar except of the odd spoonful of frozen yogurt! I'm very excited to report that I was able to see big changes in her, mentally and physically! I was feeling quite unimpressed with my own "changes", I mean I didn't really feel like I was craving sugar less, or that my face was any clearer, or that I had any more energy... but I guess that's just because I live with myself everyday! The no sugar regiment was very effective on my grandmother in the last month: she walks two times faster, her brain is quicker, she has more energy (and is actually entertaining for the first time in years!), she sleeps better, she is more enthusiastic, and she's even slimmed down a bit! I can only hope that all these things are also happening to me, slowly, and I'm simply not noticing!

And then... just a few hours ago I got my first concrete proof of change: Malt balls don't taste as good as I thought they would!

How it happened: I went to see Julie and Julia with Cory and Sophie. Upon arrival, I decided to indulge myself and buy a bag of sweets as my dessert of the day. Choosing between Skittles, M&Ms, Malt Balls, and Nibs was a difficult task, but in the end I settled on Malt Balls as they are one of my favorite chocolates.

So there I was, sitting comfortably in the theatre with my first real indulgence since I banned refined sugar from my diet almost three weeks ago, opening the bag, popping one into my mouth... and instead of tasting yummy bliss, I tasted SALT! Ummm... I thought that maybe it was a fluke, so I ate another, and another... but no, they did taste salty, and even a bit like plastic! There was a sweet after taste that I enjoyed a bit, but really, all in all, I was very disappointed, and I had to throw away over half the bag! (Which was no easy task, throwing away perfectly "good" candy is not something I ever remember doing before.)

So there it is, it seems that my addiction actually is going away. The cravings are still there, but it's getting easier to not want dessert after lunch. Tomorrow I'm meeting a friend for Bubble Tea after supper, we'll see how that goes down. Hopefully I won't get too nauseous!

SUGAR!!

After yet another traumatic experience in the hands of Dr. K.L. (my dentist), I have decided to give up sugar!!! No joke. Needless to say, this decision was not an easy one to make... and I'm surprisingly serious about it. It's been 3 days now, no ice cream, no pie, no cake, no cookies, no candy, no slurpies, no bubble tea, no chocolate, no soft drinks ... well except for once a day (which is allowable). Instead I've been drinking a lot of smoothies and soy milk (which I now love after swearing that it was one of the most disgusting things ever for years), and eating a lot of fruit (luckily it's cherry, raspberry, peach, blueberry, and watermelon season).

I'm trying to focus on the positive sides: no more cavities, i.e. no more hours of pain and lectures about sugar every 6 months; no more sugar-induced breakouts; and getting rid of my sugar addiction?? (if that's a positive thing...) It's particularly hard in the evenings, when I want a snack: I've come to realize that all my snacks are sweet!! Did you know that there's more sugar in vanilla yogurt than vanilla ice cream? So any suggestions on sugar-free snacks would be greatly appreciated.

I once again feel like I'm taking yet another reluctant step along the path to adulthood. I remember wondering, as a kid, why it was that no adults liked sweets as much as I did... according to K.L. having a sweet tooth is simply an addiction to sugar, and if I stop eating it, then I won't crave it, or like it as much anymore. Seems the time has come for me to grow out of my sweet tooth: wish me luck!!

A True Celebration of Light!!!

Having grown up in Montreal, I am no stranger to firework festivals; however, I've spent the last four summers away at camp, so I was still very excited to go see Vancouver's Celebration of Light fireworks. The first was on Wednesday: Canada. Chelsea and I arrived at English Bay (the best, and closest spot to the firework barge) at about 9pm. Though the fireworks only started at 10pm, it was already packed. Luckily, we were meeting up with two other friends, who had the forethought of arriving at 7pm, and were able to save us a prime spot.

(Side note: finding two people in a crowd of 100 000 is no easy feet! Especially since the only landmarks are beaches, logs, trees, porta-potties, and boats... in a bay shaped like a U, so all perspectives are shot!)

Yesterday was South Africa's turn. We decided to try to arrive at English Bay a lot earlier, around 4pm, and have a beach afternoon and picnic in order to insure a prime spot (On Wednesday we were very close, but off to an angle, so things were a bit out of sync, but really, still, amazing!). Four of us got there at 4, picked up a party-tray of sushi, and saw around playing cards and Chinese Checkers. Others called to say that they were on their way. And then, a drop. Could it really be raining? After weeks upon weeks of sunny 25+ weather, it didn't really seem probable. The clouds didn't look that bad, and we deemed that the rain would pass in a few minutes. Instead, it grew steadily worse for a half-hour until it was too wet to stay in our amazing spot. We made a mad dash to the Starbucks, only to discover that hordes of people already had had that idea and that there was a line to get in. So we settle of another café. Meanwhile, we had phone calls for other friends that were going to meet us. Surprisingly, only one said call was to cancel. By then, it was about 8pm, we still had 2 hours to wait for the fireworks. We were able to find all our missing parties, and most of us decide to camp out, in the rain, under a tree, and wait.

Now, you could think that the wait was miserable, but really, it was the highlight of the night! You see, the clouds came in from the East, and English Bay faces the West, so we got to enjoy one of the very best sunsets I've ever seen!! The sky went from blue to a Honey-Mustard yellow (or Dijon to some) to a rusty Orange to a doomsday red. Meanwhile, above our heads and to the North, the clouds were stormy, dark, and lightning galore! Hours of lightning, some going horizontally through the whole sky, some vertical, some flashes. So much lightning that it was rather surprising that Andrew wasn't able to capture any on film (though he did try admirably). And I also think that all the electricity in the air gave me a headache... but it was worth it. Truly one of the most beautiful and dramatic shows Mother Nature has put on.

You can easily imagine that after all this, the South African fireworks were overshadowed. The music was good and we were in a prime spot, but I couldn't help thinking: "even after all these years, we humans cannot compete with Mother Nature", which seems to be a theme for me this summer.

Still, I'm looking forward to seeing the displays by the U.K. on Wednesday and China next Saturday. I also picked up 3-D glasses that they were handing out yesterday that are said to enhance the whole experience, but forgot to try them out. Next time!

Honey Mustard Yellow

Doomsday red!

Childhood Friends

There comes a time in our lives when you get to start saying that you've known, and I mean really known, somebody for over half your life, and I don't mean family. I feel privileged to say that Kathleen and I fit the bill! We met in 5th grade of Elementary School, were best friends through to the end of 6th grade, and then went off to our separate High Schools, CEGEPs, Universities, Summer Jobs, Trips... but through it all we stayed friends, seeing each other less and less frequently. By the end we saw each other only about once every 6 months, and then only for a Bubble Tea and catch up session that usually went way into the night. Still, we somehow managed to plan and take an amazing trip, and got along splendidly!

Kathleen has spent the last few weeks in Vancouver, working at a dessert restaurant, and we got to see each other every week... which still felt like decades after being together 24/7 while in California. Today, we spent a few more precious hours together before she left to go berry picking in the Okanagan for a month before heading back to Montreal.

I just wanted to take this time to truly acknowledge the gift we were given: we grew into adults separately, but we did not grow apart. Our summer together, the first we spent in the same city since mid-High School I would guess, reaffirmed what we already knew in our hearts: I know her inside and out, as she knows me; therefore we can't hide anything, and we know the meaning of complete acceptance. It's refreshing. It's freeing. It's unique.

Kathleen, you've thanked me a hundred times for the summer, here is my own thank you. Tu m'as appris à avoir plus confience en la vie. Et ça, c'est précieux. Merci.

Fresh air cinema

Last night, Chelsea and I were camped out next to Second Beach with a horde of people waiting in great anticipation (on my part at least!) for The Princess Bride to start! When I arrived to said park earlier in the afternoon to read and do some math before the movie, there was nothing much set up, and I was worried that, in my excitement, I had misread the Facebook update that alerted me of the upcoming movie. Luckily, over the next hour or so, a team arrived in a regular sized pick-up truck with a small trailer, and proceeded to set everything up right before my eyes!

This all started last week: while riding our bikes around Stanley Park along the Seawall, we saw a huge outdoor movie screen set up with speakers playing "No Woman No Cry", and groups of people waiting for Chicken Run to start. Though I was very enthusiastic at the idea of watching a movie outside, Chicken Run really wasn't something that I wanted to stay up late to watch. BUT The Princess Bride, now that's another story!

Imagine that watching The Princess Bride surrounded by hundreds of people that love it also, on a big screen, outside under the stars, next to the ocean, right after an incredible sunset, instead of at home, on your small tv screen can be likened to watching a hockey game at the Bell Center instead of at home, on your small tv screen once again. I was not alone in muttering my favorite lines under my breath, or cheering the first time Inigo Montoya says "Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya, you killed my father, prepare to die!" The energy was strong, and the movie was amazing, of course.

I also learned (while checking for spelling) that when you search "Inconceivable" in Google, the first three hits are in referrence to The Princess Bride!! (Inconceivable!) Which just goes to show, no matter how much you think you know, small things can still surprise you in the most unexpected ways!

Mother Nature

Just a reminder that Mother Nature really is that strong, and we should respect the Earth. After all, the time we spend here is but a wrinkle in time.

This was taken by a friend of my dad's up at my cottage on Lac Ouareau, after a storm. And yes, that road was made out of asphalt!

Midterm marking

Just thought that it was worth it to let you all know that I've been marking midterms ... yesterday ... today ... tomorrow. Usually I don't find it all that painful. Granted, it's long and repetitive and boring, but I kind of feel useful while doing it. But today, I just wasn't feeling it. I'm on the recovering side of my cold, and it was frustrating to me to waste what little brain cells have come out of hibernation (can I really call it hibernation when the sleep only lasted a week?) on trying to decipher the ridiculous answers undergrads have come up with on their pre-calculus test. I mean really, how can an asymptote have a hole? (Coddles to all you non-math people that get why this is impossible) And why does the square root of one lie between one and zero? Who knows... All this to say that I feel shafted. For the first time in a week, doing some of my own research was a possibility, a possibility that was lost due to having used up my brain cells on a mundane task.

Another point of interest: Chelsea (who moved in with me last week for two months) had the brillant idea of making pancakes for supper!! Yum! With that we had freshly picked raspberries and blueberries from the backyard (where my landlord has an impressive garden full of yummy fruits and veggies).

Yet another point of interest: last night, Chelsea and Andrew came in, about 30 minutes after I turned off the light, to unload the car of camping equipment, they talked a bit, ate a bit of ice cream, and I was none the wiser. I mean nothing, zilch. I was completely unaware that my living quarters had been breached. What if it had been a burglar or something?? On top of that, I woke up feeling like I hadn't slept soundly at all, and I distinctly remember not being able to fall asleep for what felt like ages last night... guess not!

If you want to eat the best pancakes ever, try this recipe (and yes, it really calls for that much butter!):

Good Old Fashioned Pancakes

Rated: Submitted By: dakota kelly Photo By: SunFlower Prep Time: 5 Minutes Cook Time: 15 Minutes Ready In: 20 Minutes Servings: 8

"This is a great recipe that I found in my Grandma's recipe book. Judging from the weathered look of this recipe card, this was a family favorite."

INGREDIENTS:

1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour 3 1/2 teaspoons baking powder 1 teaspoon salt 1 tablespoon white sugar

1 1/4 cups milk 1 egg 3 tablespoons butter, melted

DIRECTIONS:

1.	In a large bowl, sift together the flour, baking powder, salt and sugar. Make a well in the center and pour in the milk, egg and melted butter; mix until smooth.
2.	Heat a lightly oiled griddle or frying pan over medium high heat. Pour or scoop the batter onto the griddle, using approximately 1/4 cup for each pancake. Brown on both sides and serve hot.

Sicko...

So here I am, back from a visit to Victoria, home and sick... So much for going to Victoria to help out my Grandma! The first two days I was feeling ok, but too tired to do much (luckily, she also felt lazy), and then BAM! I wake up sick, with a head cold (no worries, not the swine flu or anything so dire...). But still, my brain is all fuzzy, my nose is runny, and my throat is sore... and she ends up having to take care of me!

The human brain surprises me once more in its ability to erase bad experiences: each time I get sick, I suddenly recall how bad it feels, and then a few days or weeks later, while feeling healthy, I can't recall how completely exhausted and run down I felt while being sick. I'm told that this is insure that the human race does not die out: otherwise, after giving birth once most women would never do it again!

Kayaking

Important announcement: I got my Kayaking Certification done and am now a member of the False Creek Kayaking Club!!! YAY!

Today was the second of a two part certification course, and we spent most of the time on the water, in Alder Creek! We learned (or reviewed) different paddling techniques, and then the teacher lead us on a lovely paddle around the bay. It was sunset, warm, but not hot, and just simply incredible. Vancouver has the incredible luck of being a city surrounded by nature, and all I have to do is bike down to False Creek, put my name down on the list, put a kayak into the water, and all of a sudden, I no longer feel the omni-presence of the city putting that undeniable pressure on me!

Looking forward to many more paddles in the coming months! They tell me that the club is open year-round. I wonder how long I'll be making it... until November? Maybe?

Quote of the day

My iGoogle homepage graces we with three quotes a day. I thought this one was worth passing on:

Sometimes people are layered like that. There's something totally different underneath than what's on the surface. But sometimes, there's a third, even deeper level, and that one is the same as the top surface one. Like with pie.
-Joss Whedon

I'd also like to take this opportunity to announce that I made pumpkin tarts on my own! I used the left over pie crust from Pi-Day, and voila!

Nelson

Chelsea and I were busy busy little bees:

Wednesday

Bus departure at 6:30pm from Coquitlam. Food that was deemed necessary for an 11h bus ride: 1 box of Decadent chocolate chip cookies; 5 rice balls; 2 tupperwares of edamame; 1 bag of pita bread; 1 hummus container; 1 orange; 1 tupperware of grapes; 4 pumpkin tarts; 6 blueberry-orange muffins; 1 bag of Miss Vickie's chips; 2 hard-boiled eggs. That's it, I think.

Thursday

Arrival in Nelson at 5:30am, I'm exhausted, Chelsea looks normal, but hasn't slept all night. The day is spent getting ready to leave for camping, and we start by doing the most natural thing: taking a 4h nap! Then, I get to discover the "small" town of Nelson, bakeries, clothes, woodworks, used book store, amazing milkshakes... and then, more food shopping, and an adventure to find plates, a car rack (at Chelsea's dad's house), a canoe, another snack... and then, we are on the world's longest free ferry ride! Another nap later (to the great amusement of Chelsea and her mom, after ingesting sugar, I tend to fall asleep in cars), we get to our camping spot! Time for more food, a canoe ride, yet more food, a nice chat with Chelsea's mom's friend Moss, and bedtime again!

Friday

Rainy, maybe even stormy weather puts a dent in our plans for a relaxing day in the sun. So instead we ate, canoed a bit, ate some more, threw a football around (which made my right arm hurt for 2 days afterwards...), ate some KD, packed up, and then went to the Hot Springs!! Then, to my great happiness, we camped out in a trailer park! Now, Chelsea maintains that her dad's land isn't a trailer park, but to me, a land with a mobile home and a trailer on it constitutes a trailer park!

Saturday

One of the longest, fullest days of my life started with the realization that I had misplaced my wallet. Not good. Especially as I needed to take a plane from Castlegar to Vancouver. A very stressful hour or so later, I found my wallet mysteriously in my raincoat pocket! That done, breakfast! And a market! (Which, according to Chelsea, is a true Nelson experience!) A few more hours spent wandering the streets of Nelson, during which I discovered a Shambhala Center! Then, on the drive to Castlegar, we visited Chelsea's mom's garden, and ate more ice cream, yum! A plane ride, and then I'm in the car with my aunt, getting a ride to a wonderful supper: prawns, tuna sashimi, corn, salad, rice, and fresh peas! Feast! And rhubarb tart with ice cream (again...) for desert! Then, it was onwards and upwards, home to drop off an embarrassingly huge amount of luggage, and off downtown to visit Kathleen at work. It had been about a week since I had last seen her, which seemed like forever! After this, I watched part of the sunset (too tired to stay for the whole thing) and took a nauseatingly long bus ride home. And finally... sleep!

Car camping

Before my California trip, most, if not all, my camping experiences involved either a car or a canoe (I won't go into this particular type of camping here since it usually happens at camp with a lot of other trippers, and involves portages, bug bites, and lots of muscle, and really shouldn't be considered in the same category as "regular, i.e. road access" camping). When preparing for said California trip, I was justifiably a bit anxious about the whole camping while hitch-hiking idea. Luckily, everything went smoothly, and I found the whole experience exhilarating, and really not all difficult. I had come to conclude that though a car would have been appreciated, it really wasn't all that necessary. Seems that I had forgotten the joys of having a car; which, during my latest trip to Nelson, I was reminded of...

New conclusion: Camping with a car definitely has it's perks! Here are a few of them:

• You can carry a canoe atop it
• You can hide your food in it, and sleep without fear of bears
• Actually, you can put all your stuff in it, and sleep without fear of rain getting everything soaked
• You don't have a sore back from carrying all your stuff around with out all the time
• You can justify bringing a pillow camping to yourself
• You can have a cooler and ice, so you actually can have milk, cheese, and cold beer!
• Liberty! If there's a road, you can go there! No fear in the mornings as to whether you can find a spot to sleep for the night
• You can carry 5 books for a 2 night camping trip, no sweat!

So, for my next cross country camping trip (I'd like to go West - East across Canada and then East - West across the States), I'd like to have a volkswagen camper in tow... which means, I need to try to get that driver's license!

Dream car: A Volkswagen Hybrid Camper Car [Notice the background and the surfboards!]

So... can I come to Nelson with you?

While taking on "soon to become" routine bike ride to Stanley Park yesterday, I turned to Chelsea and asked, quite casually, and a bit jokingly, "So... can I come to Nelson with you?"

Then, a couple hours later, I bought a plane ticket from Nelson to Vancouver for next Saturday!

There are a few reasons that I decided to tag along on this trip: first and foremost, I want to be surrounded by nature once more, but also... I'm already tired of math and I'm attracted to the idea of paddling a canoe, sleeping in a tent, visiting a trailer park, getting out of the city, and just being spontaneous and taking advantage of the fact that I'm young and really don't have any responsibilities tying me down!

Today, we bought tickets from Vancouver to Nelson (11 hours by bus...), and talked about this whole thing until I became quite excited about the whole situation. Wednesday, 6:35pm, we'll be leaving the Coquitlam bus depot, going on an adventure; Saturday, 16:54pm, I'll be arriving in Vancouver airport, hopefully energized... and ready for a good night's sleep!

Family Time

Last Thursday night, I was lucky enough to go to a family supper, out here in Vancouver! My uncle Greg was in Canada because of the superior medical abilities of our maritime doctors, and he had a layover in Vancouver (on his way back to Japan), so he was staying at my great aunt and uncle's. My grandmother from Victoria will be setting off on an Alaskan cruise tomorrow, and she decided to fly in early in order to see my uncle as well. So all five of us ended up eating some yummy Chinese food, before going back to my great aunt and uncle's for cake (Greg and Grandma's birthdays are in a few weeks) and ice cream. I'm also very happy to report that Grandma is staying with me, and it's a lot of fun to visit Vancouver with her!

Before moving out here, I never really considered myself a "family person". I mean, I've always enjoyed Christmas gatherings, and I love my parents and brother, of course, but being raised in North America always made me think I was more individualistic than anything else. But then I moved to Vancouver, and though I'm still in Canada, at times I feel very far from family. There seems to be something strangely comforting in being surrounded by people with the same nose or, in my case, with the same cheeks! So I guess that absence does make the heart fonder, at least where family is concerned!

Chin-up

So I'm back from trip, and have a goal: I want to be able to do a chin-up by the end of the summer! Before leaving for California, I saw this column in a magazine that gives a run down on how/what to work out in order to be able to do a chin-up in 12 weeks, which is about the time I have left this summer!! The first task is to hold myself at chin level on a bar every day for as long a possible, taking a 1 minute break between each "rep", three times. The magazine says to do it until I can hold myself in that position for 30 seconds at a time, without undue effort (which they estimate will take about 3 weeks). When I read this, I thought the task would be easy... but the honest report on my first attempt is that I was barely able to hold myself in the appropriate position for 5 seconds at a time, and my arms were sore the next day. So starting today, I will try, everyday, to do my "reps". I hope that in 3 weeks time, I will be up to stuff in order to start on my next task!
Oh and p.s. I'll be starting to jog again soon, very soon hopefully!

Travel blog

For updates on my trip, check out akitravel.blogspot.com, which I will dedicate to my travels... which will hopefully be interesting and frequent!

California bound

Day after tomorrow, May 1st, 6am, my flight leaves for San Diego for my grand Californian adventure!! After a 5 day visit with my grandparents, I'll be flying to San Francisco (which only costs 40$ by the way, crazy!!), and meeting up with my elementary school friend Kathleen!!

The plan? Camping, and trekking our way back up to Vancouver somehow. I'm very proud to say that everything fit in my 50L back pack on my first attempt! The tent, the sleeping bag, pots, the math (yes, I'm bringing work on trip!), the clothes, shoes... A miracle I tell you!! Well, that's what I thought until I tried lifting my bag and walking a bit: muscles get ready for the ordeal ahead!

I'll try to keep a travel blog going, so if you're interested in our exploits and adventures check back here!

2 down, 4 to go...

Summer is here, and school is out... unfortunately, part of being a grad student means that I'm expected to be around during the summer, doing research and moving forward with my thesis. Daunting task, especially as I've spent my last four summers dividing my time up between camp and traveling. 4 months of research is just a little too much for me to swallow right now, so I've spent the last week recovering from my final exams (both the marking of them and the writing of them), and in a couple of days I'll be off to California (with math in tow, not to worry).

Still, the semester is done: only 4 left to go! At first, I was a bit discouraged: I was under the illusion that I had finished half the work when it was pointed out that I was only a third of the way through (that's what I get for hanging around with math people all the time). BUT I'm done 4 out of 5 classes, so really I'm closer to the end... except for that thesis... right?

Honestly, I'm having trouble imagining spending three months coped up in my office, doing research (whatever that entails, I'm still a little unsure). Rationally, I know that expecting a 4 month vacation every year is insane... but it's a nice dream to have! Especially when you really live during those months. During my undergrad days, whenever I was discouraged with school, I would plan my months of freedom, the trips I would take, the experiences I would have at Ouareau, the days I would spend at the cottage. I just don't think I'm cut out for that 2-week summer holiday thing, which seems to indicate that I should plan a career in the academic world. But that would imply a PhD, which isn't in the cards for me, I think.

Seems that giving up my long, long, summers is just one more step on the path to adulthood... and it seems that I'll be taking it in baby steps, and digging my heels in, as per usual!

As Easy As Pi

Quick note: I know a movie star!!! On my flight to Montreal for Easter, I stumbled upon a 15 minute documentary called As Easy As Pi that was filmed at Waterloo University, starring... Lino! That's right, for those of you that know Lino and didn't know prior to this that he's been hiding that he's movie star, this is the time to get that autograph!!

Soft Ball

So what's the point of trying to hit a tiny hard ball with a stick and then running around in a circle?

That used to be my opinion of baseball. But then, when I was in Ottawa for Easter, I played soft ball with my little cousins and brother, and it was amazing!!! Ok, we weren't really playing by any rules, and I'm still quite scared of the ball, but it was so much fun! It was basically 5 kids on a street, throwing a pink ball around, using a bat made of a 10 year old, switching teams in order to always have somebody at bat, and having a marvelous time.

I have to admit, I didn't want to play, and I wasn't expecting to be able to hit the ball, but the first time that my bat connected with that ball, it was like a revelation! (Ok, that's a bit of an over-the-top-exageration, but that's how I am...!) And then off I went, trying to run with a sprained ankle and laughing at the same time!

Lesson: Don't judge before trying! And even if you've already tried it, and didn't like it, wait a bit, and then try again, it might be better this time around!!!

Sunshine!!

This is the news you all have been waiting for... The Sun is Back in Vancouver!!! The 6 week rainy, misty, cold, snowy, cloudy times seem to be over, at last!! I've spent the last few days lying outside in the sun, on the beach, or my favorite hill near Science World, studying, and actually being quite successful! My spirits are up, and my motivation seems to be on the rise as well. I've almost been able to finally enjoy my backyard, studying in the sun once more... I like to believe that I tanned, but I've been told by a reliable source (my mirror) that it's all in my head. Soon!

Crosswords

Since my commute is quite long, I've discovered the miracle of the crossword puzzle. Time just flies by when you're concentrating on something... plus it's fun! I started doing crosswords a couple of years ago, one Christmas, in order to help "entertain" my grandmother. It was great because I realized (to my disbelief) that I was actually able to find a few words! Anyways, crosswords are now a part of my daily routine, and I'm most pleased to announce that today I completed my first Metro Crossword puzzle without any help!!!!!!! (well, except of Chelsea's one word "warp", and one Wikipedia help: Uraei = Asps, who knew? ... I probably would have gotten it in the end) This was a very momentous occasion for me, and it was only possible since I took the bus for ridiculously small commutes (because of my ankle) on the way to and from Yoga class, good Karma people!

Today I also had my first experience of a "laughter club", I cannot say that I enjoyed it too much, it was a very strange and awkward, to me anyways. I much prefer laughter to be unforced, and real. I also learned that the average human laughs on 15 times a day, whereas the kindergartner laughs 400 times a day. Where does out sense of humor run off to?

Sprained Ankle

This Saturday was a math-department takes over the Honey extravaganza. As always, when girls get ready to go out, the usual fashion show ensues: we got all dressed up, trying on different tops (Sophie) and dresses (me), we also made Chelsea try on different possible dancing clothes with the slim hope of her joining us (she didn't). So 2-3 outfits later (and 2-3 drinks later), off we went to conquer the town!

The music was good, the dancing was better, and overall we had an incredibly enjoyable night... but then in the morning, I wake up to go to the bathroom, and fall over in pain: I've strained my right ankle. It's huge, and a bit bruised. As the day goes on, it gets bigger and becomes bluer. According to the Internet, I've sustained a Grade 2 sprain. According to the doctor (I went to the school clinic today), I've ripped a major tendon on the right side of my ankle and a few small ones the left side. Prescription? Nope, unfortunately not... just ice, elevation, pressure, you all know the drill. BUT she also said that I needed physiotherapy starting in a week, otherwise I'd be prone to many more sprains as my tendon is now weak. She also asked if I was clumsy... ... ... well I do tend to trip over my own feet, and walk into walls, and fall over the sidewalk, and umm, yeah... definitely clumsy. So then she said that she very strongly recommends physio. I'm going to have to look into whether my insurance covers that or not.

Now I'm walking with a limp, and must wear my ankle brace for another 4 weeks, and no running whatsoever for that time as well... hopefully I'll pick it up again once I can, and experience another one of those runner's highs!!

The Impostor Effect

While doing my bachelor's at Bishop's, I was confident, overall, in my ability to do math. I knew that I wasn't the best, that I might not be able to ever discover anything new or exciting, that "Aki's Theorem" might remain a figment of my overly-ambitious imagination. And granted, from time to time I suffered from what the faculty and I affectionately (I think) referred to as "existential crises", times during which I doubted my math ability and understanding, but they usually passed in a day or two, and only happened about once a semester. The rest of the time, I was quite happily learning, and proving things that I found interesting.

Then, upon arriving at SFU and attending my first few lectures, I truly understood for the first time what complete and utter incomprehension was. (For example, it took me 2 months to realize that there was a difference between the polynomial ring F[x] and it's field of fractions F(x), I just figured that the square and round brackets were interchangeable, which, by the way (for you non-math people) is a disgustingly embarrassing error.)

And, worse than incomprehension, I started to suffer from The Impostor Effect (with capitals). I felt like I shouldn't be here, that I didn't deserve my bachelor's, and that one day everybody would wake up, understand the level of my incomprehension, point their fingers, and banish me. At times, this fear was so great that part of me wished that this would just happen so that I would be able to just give up the farce and leave, lick my wounds in private. Of course, this did not happen, I'm still here, trudging along, keeping my head down, and hoping nobody will notice the imposer among them...

It's not as bad this semester. For one, I'm taking 700-level courses instead of 800-level, which makes a big difference. But still, once in a while (coinciding unsurprisingly enough with days devoted to trying, quite unsuccessfully, to do my assignments), the Imposer Effect returns, and catches me unguarded.

Today is one of those days... I'm working on my second to last assignment for my Galois Theory class (which incidentally is pretty much a prerequisite for the Algebra class I took last term, which effectively killed my math-self-esteem), and it's not going so well. Once again I'm having trouble understanding how the questions asked have anything to do with the material seen in class... and when I do see the link, I still have no clue how to even start trying to prove anything. I'm a firm believer in the importance of a "mickey-mouse-question": when starting an assignment, if you're able to do a question, completely, and in a quite straight-forward way, then it's like a mental tap on the back. I say to myself, "yes, I can do this, I understand something after all", and thinking this, more often than not, will encourage me to try harder to answer the other problems. Of course, when I can't answer anything, then my worry is: "was there a mickey-mouse-question here somewhere that I can't do?? And if there is, how come I can't do it??", which then distracts me from my actual assigned questions.

Well there's my rant on feeling like an imposer, that was a nice break from Math (capitalized also). Now, of course, I have to go back and write something, anything, so that my professors think that I understand something, which is the catch of this whole story: No matter how much I hate feeling like an Imposer, it seems that I fear being discovered too much to give up the whole charade.

Victoria

I'm back home, having spent a lovely and relaxing weekend with my grandmother in Victoria. I'm happy to report a lot of sleep, very little math, lots of scrabble, good food, a successful shopping trip, and a good time. 

Ferry to Victoria: SUN! For the first time in weeks it seems, the sun was really and truly out! No clouds, no fog, no lingering mist... and I spent the whole ferry trip lying outside in the sun, listening to music and daydreaming. The glasses came off, and I imagined that in the hour and a half it takes to get to Swartz Bay, my face would tan and the bags under my eyes would disappear. (Quite unsuccessful, but it was very enjoyable to try!)

At Grandma's: Scrabble galore, we played a total of 4 games, and both of us got to win! I also had a very interesting experience trying to teach her how to use her new cell phone. We ate yummy Japanese food, and had a good time trying to felt my new hat the old-fashioned way. (Success!)

Shopping Trip: In order to prepare for our up-coming trip to Ottawa for Easter, I got to help my grandmother shop of chocolate!! Very fun, especially since I got an ice-cream cone out of the whole business. I'm also very excited to report that I bought myself my first every pair of Birks!! I'm currently wearing them in the office in order to break them in (and show them off, of course!)

Trip home: Having done a total of 0 minutes of math all weekend, I decided to do some on the ferry home (the sun had already set anyway). Then, I was lucky enough to catch all buses quickly and got home before 10pm, which was simply marvelous, and now I have a bit of time to decompress before bed. It's a whole new week tomorrow!

I think I could do this for a living!

So tonight, after a decadent sushi supper (Edamame, Veggie Tempura, and Sashimi to share and then a Deep Fried Scallop Roll that changed by life), Sophie, Chelsea and I went over to my place for a run. They were looking forward to a nice and slow work out, and I was... well... nervous to be running with two people that were so much faster than me. Once we got to my place, we were all a bit tired an unmotivated, the deep fried goodness we just finished eating didn't help. Plus, Sophie was jetlagged, Chelsea had a crossword, and I was/am lazy... But I put on motivating music anyways, got ready (Sophie was very understanding of my construction worker's vest), and off we went!

Since I'm the slowest, I got to set the pace, with Chelsea and Sophie following close behind. Now picture this: I was wearing that vest, baggy pants, a huge sweatshirt, and my trusty headband... whereas Chelsea and Sophie were wearing matching professional looking black pants and high-tech black vests, and as Sophie pointed out during the run, looked like my bodyguards! It was like I was some sort of eccentric celebrity, and they were my loyal companions, which was a fun image, and it kept me upbeat even as they sprinted ahead once in a while in order to not get cold... And I have to admit, that when we were running up that last hill before getting home, and I was ready for my cool down, and they decided raced up the hill, I was impressed! I'm definitely not at their level yet. Still, I'm pleased to report progress, I was able to run our "longer" circuit, without walking (well except for that half a block, in a moment of weakness)!!! And perhaps more importantly, I experienced a runner's high:

There's this simply lovely moment in the middle of a run in which everything seems clear. I'm not too out of breath, I don't have a stitch in my side, my legs aren't tired yet, and I'm not too hot or too cold. My body feels warm and great, my cheeks feel flushed, my breath feels strong and deep, and my mind is so clear. It's incredible! It feels like a high, and for those few moments, I feel like I can do anything. Of course, I'm still running and so I don't really have enough breath to try to share this with Chelsea and Sophie, so all I verbalized was "I think I could do this for a living!" Having run with me before, Chelsea knew this was just a passing inclination, and reassured Sophie that I would go back to complaining in 5 minutes... and sure enough 3 blocks later (which apparently is a lot less than 5 minutes), my left calf started to hurt and I lost my high. But still, I love the feeling, and I'm hoping that with practice I will be able to hold on to it for longer!!!

Pi-Day

Today, for you non-math-inclined folks, is Pi-Day because we are March 14th, also known as 3/14, and Pi = 3.1415926535... (as demonstrated above, I won't go much further than that). 

Anyways, in order to celebrate Pi-Day, I went over to my aunt and uncle's in order to bake pie!! Apple-Cinnamon-Amazingness-Pie... ummm!!! I wasn't too sure about my ability to make dough from scratch, but Eva was quite positive that I could do it. So we put on our aprons, got the flour out, and before I knew it, we were making pie!! I'm very pleased to say that I was successful, well, my pie looks amazing... I haven't baked it yet, but I'm sure that it will taste good too. 

Conclusion: I now can bake pie, it seems that I will soon be able to feed my sugar addiction single-handedly: I no longer need to roam the city in search of pie... I can just make it myself, and by doing so, I don't end up with a single slice of pie, but enough for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Twice over... Yikes!

Mandolin

I just wanted to take a few minutes to announce that I've learnt to play Cripple Creek on my mandolin last week!!! It's an old song, and I had never heard of it before, but it's quite catchy, and I'm not sick of it yet! My repertoire is now: the G, C, D, and F chords, Kumbaya, Here Comes the Sun, Hush Little Baby, and Cripple Creek. Not extremely impressive, since I've owned my instrument since last October, but I'm quite happy since it's all self-taught, with the help of Wikipedia, a book, and some tips from my dad (who plays the guitar), and my friend Cory (who plays the violin). 

Next step: learn how to play the A chord, and find a mandolin teacher... I've felt like I've been on a plateau for a while now, and I'm hoping that a few hours with a professional will help "deblock" my hidden talents...!

Jogging

So yesterday, at my prodding, my friend Chelsea and I decided to try to go for a run. Now, Chelsea has been running quite regularly for over 2 years, and I, well, haven't run further than a block (in order to catch a bus) in, well, forever... and after such a run I'm usually all hot and sweaty, and it seems to take a ridiculous amount of time for my heart to slow to a normal rate. Chelsea assured me that running without a backpack, with appropriate shoes, and at a reasonable pace would be easier than my irregular sprinting. But as I started feeling more confident about my own ability, she went on to mention that after her first few attempts at running, she wanted to die.

Still, we put on motivating music, and I psyched myself by deciding what to wear: Ouareau sweatshirt, jogging pants (that's actually what they are supposed to be for!!), runners I've owned since high school (which, by the way, according to Chelsea and my aunt, are not appropriate footwear for running), a flashy headband, and my construction-worker's vest my mom got me at Christmas (you know, those yellow and orange vests that they wear on the side of the road?). And out we went.

The first difficulty arose when I was too self-conscious to start running, which made me laugh. After a few minutes of giggling (just enough time so that I was already out of breath), I was finally ready to set out. The actual running wasn't as bad as I'd feared it might be, and I think that we were out for about 30 minutes (about half of which was spent with me walking, trying to breathe, and Chelsea running on the spot humming, annoying un-winded). While running my legs were fine, the pain I felt seemed to emanate from my right shoulder, and eased it's way into my neck and down my back. It wasn't until after we had returned that I realized that my legs were tired... but then all of a sudden I was exhausted. I survived the next 2 hours by supreme force of mind, and then fell into bed and passed out at the respectable hour of 10pm on a Friday.

I hope that I will drege up the courage to go run again (the pain in my legs is still bad enough for me to think this was all a crazy dream). And I wonder what sort of hidden meaning I can find to explain my strange right shoulder pain. But still... I don't want to die, so I guess this whole outing was a success!!

Papa's Daiquiri

For a reason that now escapes me, my father decided that he wanted to make Hemingway-style daiquiris on the last night of his visit. The recipe? Mix lemon juice and sugar, lots of sugar, and then add to that some white rum (Havana club if possible, we settled for Appleton's), drop in a few ice cubes, and you're well on your way to making me drunk.

Which is exactly what happened. According to my dad, this drink isn't really that strong, because the alcohol content is of only 35% percent, and ... for some other reasons that were explained to me after I had a couple drinks, so they now escape me as well. But I'm definitely a lighter weight than he imagined I would be.

So for the first time in my 22 years, my dad and Akiko got the privilege of meeting drunk Aki. And not just tipsy Aki who's very happy and likes to dance to music only she can hear. Real drunk Aki who can't walk straight and can't keep her mouth shut, or keep up that lovely thought-speech filter...

But anyways, we had a great last night, and ate some very good Chinese food!

What did I take away from this experience? Well, if drinking with one's parents is a sign of maturity... I passed. But if being able to know when to stop drinking before incapacitating oneself was the test, I've still got some things to learn!

p.s. Papa's Daiquiri was amazing! You most definitely have my blessing to try that at home!

More visitors

Very early this morning, I was woken up by my brother, who come to wake me up for a final goodbye. His flight left at 8am, but I don't have time to miss him just yet... since I now have more visitors! My dad is here, with my step mom, Akiko!! They are visiting on their way back from a three month long stay in Tokyo. Because of the time change, they are experiencing a 41 hour long day, with 6 meals in two different countries!

So I'm off once more, on an adventure to rediscover this city that I'm learning to love so much. With each visit, I get to learn a bit more, see a bit more, from a different angle and opinion. Nobody really sees anything like anybody else does. On each return visit to a favorite place with somebody new, they notice something that I never saw before, and I get to see it too. For example, when walking to Stanley Park along the Northern sea-wall, Akiko decided to look down over the edge to see the ocean, and there were a multitude of starfish! Purple, orange, red ones. I've walked past that spot many times since moving here, but not once did I take the time to look down.

I'm also really enjoying the role of "host". This is the first time that I have my own place, and I'm fortunate enough to have enough room to invite people to stay for a few days. There's something very satisfying with being able to accommodate one's parents in one's own space. Having dad and Akiko here has made me also see my apartment with new eyes, and I'm proud of this space that I can call my own.

Walking Tour

Today, my brother and I went for a long walk. From downtown Vancouver, along Robson (shopping a bit... eating ice cream!), to Stanley Park (around the Lost Lagoon, lots of ducks and even a swans), to Second beach (lots of joggers, as always) and then down on the sea-walk back to Granville, and then we ended up in Chapters.

By the end, my legs were a little tired, but I was glad that we spent the day outside. It was a bit chilly, left over from last night's snowfall. But this just made the air crisp and fresh. As a bonus, the sun was shining, and I felt like my whole body was trying to soak it up! I was also surprised to see how many people were out for a stroll, or jog, or walking their dog, on a Thursday at 3pm! All that fresh air made my cheeks rosy, and my breath deeper.

Since moving to Vancouver, I've really started to appreciate walking, just in itself. Not walking in order to get somewhere, just walking for the pleasure of it. My brother also recently noticed how pleasant walking could be without listening to music. We are the ipod generation after all. In meditation, we practice Aimless Wandering, and today, walking with my brother around downtown Vancouver felt a bit like that practice. We didn't have a destination, we didn't have anywhere to be... and so we could just be, in the present.

I think it's unhealthy to always be listening to something, to always have a distraction, in order to not be thinking. For instance, people often believe that when they are watching tv, they are doing nothing, but that's not true. When we watch tv, we are bombarded with information, so much information that we cannot be in tune with the information from our own body. But more on this some other time.

All you can eat

So yesterday, thanks to the generosity of our grandmother, my brother and I ventured out to a nice Japanese restaurant. We decided on the "all you can eat" option instead of the "bento", and in the end quite enjoyed our meal. We got to cook some meat ourselves, and pretty much tried one of everything from the menu (and had to hide some of the extra food so that we wouldn't get charged extra... ahem!), but ever since I've been thinking of the pros and cons. Let me know if you have any thoughts to add!

Pros:

• You get to eat a LOT
• You get to try many different kinds of sushi, many of which you wouldn't normally go for, and maybe discover a new favorite!
• It's fun, especially when you get to cook some of the stuff yourself!
• You sort of feel like a king (well, I do anyways)

Cons:

• It's more expensive, and you feel as though you have to get your money's worth, and so...
• You eat more than necessary, and as my brother pointed out, it gets a bit more painful towards the end
• With sushi, this isn't too problematic, but at a Chinese Buffet, you get stomach-aches from all that oil
• Your pants typically feel tighter afterwards
• You may end up eating stuff you don't really like

So 4 to 5, but weights are different... Maybe it's just because I'm not somebody who eats that much in general. Oh! I just had a thought: all you can eat desserts... now that's something I would go for!

Siblings

My little brother is visiting me for his reading week!! He arrived on Friday night, and we went to Victoria to visit our grandmother over the weekend... and I noticed that, though we have both grown a great deal this past year, (I moved across the country and am working on my master's, and he moved out of our dad's house, is living on his own for the first time, and starting his bachelors) some things don't change. I still order him around, and he still waits around, waiting, it seems (to me), to be ordered around!

Old habits die hard, especially those that start as soon as you're born, and encouraged by all around you for years! For instance, I always refer to him as my "little" brother, though he's my only sibling, is 6 feet tall, and will be turning 20 this year! (Now that's a scary thought!!) In many ways, we are equals, and we both know it, it's just our behaviour that's behind. Now that I've noticed this rote-behaviour, things must change! So, my goal for his visit (besides to have fun, of course!) will be to try to let go of old habits, so that we can enjoy a healthier relationship, that will hopefully be more fulfilling for us both!

Teeny, tiny flowers

Yup! You've guessed it! Spring is already here in Vancouver, can you believe it?? As most of you know, I'm not a huge flower fan, I can tell what the difference between a rose, a tulip, a lily, and a daisy... but that's about it! I don't go on and on about some gorgeous flower I saw that other day, and I'm allergic to pollen... Still, as I was walking to school today, I noticed that there were teeny, tiny little purple flowers on a bush! And after I noticed that... well then I saw little pink flowers on a tree (a cheery-blossom maybe?), and little white flowers that looked like tear-drops (aren't there flowers called tear-drops?), and also tiny little light green sprouts (I think those are from bulbs)!!! And it's only the middle of February, in Canada! 1 point for Vancouver! 

Another point for Vancouver: no rain since at least 2 weeks!!! (Of course, they are forecasting rain for the next week or so, exactly when my brother will be visiting...)

"Cut down on sugar"

Said K.L., my dentist...
...
...
!!!

Obviously, he doesn't know me: sugar is like air, how can I do that?? He has solid proof on his side: three fillings in as many weeks. I've never had any cavities before, but all that sugar seems to finally have caught up with me. It's apparently been wearing down my teeth little by little for the past decade, and now there's a price to pay.

Now wait... Isn't this one of those adulthood things?? I mean, as you get older, all types of things happen because of your self-indulgent youth, like cholesterol, or diabetes, or beer bellies, or arthritis, or debt, or bad marriages, and you have to deal with the consequences... but come on, I'm only 22! I'm hardly in the twilight of my existence (yes Chelsea, I did just use that expression!).

I remember when I was a kid, people always said that I'd someday grow out of my sweet tooth. I used to wonder why that was. I have always maintained that I'd never stop liking sweets, and I still do... but seems I'm to be overruled.

Well here it is, the moment we have all been waiting for: I must start to be aware of the incredible amounts of sugar I've been ingesting on a daily basis... and start to reduce. More on this is sure to come!

Coffee Shops

Every morning when I don't have class, I have to ask myself "Where will I actually do math today?" The answer isn't easy.

If I stay home, then I don't have to think about lunch, and I can stay in my pj's, and I have all my books close at hand, and access to the Internet. Of course, this means that e-mail and facebook are my constant companions, and lunch might turn into cooking 2 different meals and a desert, and then cleaning the kitchen, and by books, I mean fun novels as well as math textbooks...

If I go to school, this minimizes some distractions, but there's still the Internet, and then there are people too, and I go have tea, or take an hour long lunch break. Plus, that means that I have to get there and back, another 2 hours... so if I only have a 4 hour window, this isn't a good option (especially since it takes me a least a half hour in Irmacs before any math starts to get done).

Which brings me to coffee shops. For about a month now, this has been my solution to my procrastination problems. I only bring my laptop if it is strictly necessary to the work that needs to get done, so usually I don't have easy Internet access. There's good tea, and I sometimes meet interesting people. But, most of all, I get work done. Why? Well, there's really not much else to do! Granted, sometimes I look out the window, or stare at other people, imagining their lives, but I get bored of this within minutes... and there's nothing else to do but math, so it gets done! This working technique works especially well if I have an appointment to keep afterwards, like a yoga class, or supper plans: I get to the coffee shop 2-4 hours before said time, and though I'm bored after 1 hour, well, I'm stuck there! So instead of watching tv, or creeping somebody on Facebook (yes I do that, as does everybody else I know!), or whatever else, the only thing I have to pass the time is math!

Anyways, all this to say that today I wrote 3 pages of my first ever essay in math, on the transendence degree of field extensions (believe me, it is as gross as it sounds), in a lovely coffee place on Broadway and Kingsway, and I'm proud of myself! Slowly getting ready for that thesis... yikes!

The Office

I remember the day I learnt that I was to have an office... who knew that grad students had offices?? Well, to be honest, my office is really more a "shared work space", it's basically a big room with a lot of cubicles and no assigned desks, but since we are humans, everybody has their "favorite" desk. And, believe me, when somebody else is sitting at your seat, your whole day gets thrown off balance. Still! I think that being able to say "I'm going to the office" without gagging or giggling means I've taken one more step along the adulthood path.

Anyways, here I am on a Sunday afternoon, at the office. Scary. But it's actually quite nice here on the weekends. There's nobody, so the door isn't constantly opening (which means I'm not constantly looking to see who's coming in and out), and Irmacs (that's the name of my office) is actually quite nice. Half the walls are windows, and it's sunny today, which makes everything seem better! 

In case you were getting worried that I'm actually already an adult, here's the content of my locked cupboard in my office: Math textbooks, 2 pens, a bunch of papers (pretty standard), AND 5 types of tea (bagged black Earl Grey, loose leaf black Earl Grey, green Earl Grey with vanilla, Black-currant black tea, and Vanilla-Almond red tea), 2 bags of candy (food is prohibited here, but candy isn't food right?), a bag of dried bananas (rats don't eat that, right?), a cup, my gym clothes, a towel (?), a Ouareau sweatshirt, an extension cord, a few packs of sugar, and 3 empty plastic bags ... not the most professional thing.

Montreal vs. Vancouver

(Sorry to all of you that have received a letter from me in the past two weeks, you've already heard me blurb about this...)

Growing up in Montreal, I thought that it was the best city in the world. I mean, it's not too big, not too small, it's got an amazing variety of foods, cultures, and people. There's a metro, and there are bagels just around the corner. You can hike up the Mont-Royal, and get a view of the whole city, or you can drive for an hour and go snowboarding. There's live music every night, and you can walk home without being scared. In the summer, there's La Ronde, and the TamTams, and St-Jean-Baptiste in the Mile End. In the winter, I know it's bloody cold, but the sunny days are amazing!

When I moved to Vancouver, I had high standards; but after 5 months here, I must admit that Vancouver is definitely up to stuff! Now, don't get me wrong, Montreal is still the city of my heart, it's just that Vancouver is making itself a nice cozy spot there too. The best analogy I have been able to come up with is:

Montreal is my first love. (You can never quite forget it, and you compare all your subsequent loves to it, and you're over it... almost)

Vancouver is my new and current love.

This analogy works for me because Montreal is the city of my childhood, and "teenage-hood". When I go back there now, it's never for very long. So I always seem to end up in the same places, often with the same people. And I love it, but sometimes it makes me feel a bit stuck. Whereas, Vancouver is the city of my adulthood. I live alone. This means I must motivate myself; to go out, to meet up with friends, to eat out, to discover the city... And I think that self-motivation is one of the new "adult" traits I've discovered in myself since moving here. Also, my favorite "spots" are constantly changing, everything is very fluid, which makes me feel free. Everything is new, everything is gorgeous, everything is exciting, just like a new love!

More practically, things that I love about Vancouver:

• FOOD (fresh fruits, farmers markets, fresh fish, etc.)
• Nature
• Skytrain
• Culture
• My apartment
• Beaches
• Massive trees everywhere
• Bill and Eva (my great-uncle and aunt)
• Easy biking
• Green grass year round
• FOOD (as in restaurants, like Granville Island potato place, Naam, Pad Thai from that place on Commercial, Gelato by that other place on Commercial...)
• Aquarium
• Easy access to the ocean
• Stop-over city for all asia-bound destinations (lots of visitors!!)
• Clothing
• People that just met me can sometimes guess that I'm half-asian!